Best Of 2009

Hello Friends.

I am back to business with you. I promise to be a better blogger. Welcome to 2010. To Start things off, here is a list my brilliant brother created. If you follow it to the end you get a down loadable treat. Maybe it's something genetic, but I second almost all of his opinions on this list:

Congratulations everyone, we’ve survived till 2010 (well close enough, anyhow). As everyone is getting their evening wear prepped and drinking enough water to cover tonight’s consumption of near fatal amounts of champagne, I figure I’d throw in a Best of 09 list.
Instead of doing the usual 10, I will just do 5. Why? Mainly because I’m lazy and things stretched out to ten don’t seem as definitive. Finally, This list is all encompassing and most importantly, final. If you disagree with anything I have scribed then you are simply wrong and should really rethink your life’s decisions. So without further ado,

BEST BOOKS OF 2009

Congratulations illiteracy! I completed only one book this year and it kind of sucked. Russell Brand’s My Booky Wook was nowhere near as charming as his live set. I wish I could have read more, but I spent my days instead being awesome, playing videogames and watching too many tv shows and movies to care.

BEST TV OF 2009

5. Bored to Death – I’ll be honest, the first episode was kind of bland, but my faith in Jason Schwartzman encouraged me to keep watching and it was Ted Danson’s performance that got the show on the list.
Best Episode of the Season: The Case of the Missing Sperm.

4. Parks & Recreation – I hated this show originally for its desperate attempt to recreate the faux documentary style and charm of The Office and figured it would be cancelled before it would finish its first season. When they got their second season green lit, the creators loosened their ties and focused more on their characters and less on the mimicking act. While the Office has become the most disappointing of 2009, its doppelganger has transformed into something unique and actually funny. Stop hating this show and watch an actual episode. And while we’re on the subject…
Best Episode of the Season: Hunting Trip

3. Lost – Now for those of you who know me, don’t worry, my love for this show has not waned. I’m just saving my love laced dissertation for the final season in 2010. Time Travel got smart again, folks. If you still haven’t seen this show or stopped watching, you are simply missing out on a Sci-Fi Drama that critics in the year 2999 will call The Greatest Show of the Century. I’m calling it now.
Best Episode of the Season: The Incident

2. Mad Men – I will never look at my John Deer Riding Lawn Mower the same. Season 3 was their best yet and that is truly saying something. The show keeps changing and isn’t afraid to send some of its main characters packing. Fashion lovers be warned: The show won’t be in the sixties for much longer. Prepare to see Don with mutton chops and possibly even a track suit (if his liver can survive him that long).
Best Episode of the Season: Shut the Door. Have a Seat

1. Breaking Bad – The best written and acted show on the air. Season two has amped us up for a tragedy the Bard would be taking notes on. Bryan Cranston is playing the role of a lifetime. If you like good television, you will love (or are loving) this show.
Best Episode of the Season: Phoenix

Honorable Mentions: Survivor: Samoa, Peep Show, Top Chef, Glee, United States of Tara, Community, 30 Rock, South Park, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Fringe, Metalocalypse.

WORST SHOW of 2009: Secret Girlfriend - If Natty Light could be transformed into a show, this would be it. Cheap, shitty and when it’s all over you feel worse than when you started. I felt ashamed for every female actress in this garbage and for the 60 years of Women’s Rights they set back.

BEST MOVIES OF 2009

Now before I begin this list, I need to disclaimer some films that have a very good chance of leaping on to the top five, but because of shitty distribution or not being able to get a hold of certain screeners, I haven’t seen them. Those films are: A Single Man, A Serious Man, [REC] 2, Bad Lieutenant: Port Call of New Orleans and Big Fan. Once I am able to see them and if they succeed in expectations, I will update the list.

5. Drag Me To Hell – I saw the majority of films this year by myself in the theater while I was in California, but Sam Raimi’s return to form was easily the best theater experience I have ever had. The audience ate this film up and enjoyed every possessed morsel, myself included. If you love kittens you will love this film! (Many apologies, Jenny)
Best Moment: Gypsy Car Fight

4. Inglourious Basterds – Spoiler altert! Avatar is not on my top 5 list. Given time to really think it over, I picked at the story until it’s banality and predictability outweighed the grandeur of the special effects. Inglourious Basterds is the opposite. I was a little underwhelmed with it at my first screening, but after seeing it several times on Blu-Ray, I have fallen in love with it a little more each time. Until Mirimax gets their shit together and releases the Kill Bill halves together as one movie, Inglourious Basterds will remain my suggestion as Tarantino’s masterpiece.
Best Moment: Bar Scene

3. District 9 – Original storytelling, incredible special effects and wanton violence! All these things make a damn near perfect film for me. This would have been my number one if it wasn’t for two sneak attacks.
Best Moment: MechWarrior using gravity gun to kill a guy with a flying pig.

2. Fantastic Mr. Fox – Few people took the time to see this in the theater and if you did, you were rewarded with Wes Anderson’s best film behind Rushmore. Most of you will catch this on DVD and readily agree with me. However, Petey totally wrote a bad song.
Best Moment: Anytime the animals cussed.

1. Up –This was the year of kid’s movies for adults. Coraline, Where the Wild Things Are and Fantastic Mr. Fox all would have bored me as a kid, but I love them now. That being said, Up would have enthralled me just as much if I were 10 as I am 25. The animation is gorgeous, Dug is easily the best talking dog in film and the opening montage “Married Life” may be the best 10 minutes of film and score ever. EVER. You will tear up while watching the film. Charles Manson would tear up while watching this film. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, I hate you. See it and get back on my good list.
Best Moment: Married Life Montage

Honorable Mentions: Taken, Coraline, Watchmen, I Love You Man, Observe & Report, The Hangover, The Hurt Locker, Sin Nombre, Moon, (500) Days of Summer, Bruno, The Cove, Paranormal Activity, Zombieland, Where the Wild Things Are, Up in the Air, and Avatar

WORST MOVIE OF 2009: I avoided some real shit balls, but Transformers 2 has to take the cake. I wasn't a fan of the first so expectations were set to abysmal, but somehow Michael Bay found a way to rape them further into the ground. If you enjoyed this movie, please seek help.

BEST MUSIC OF 2009

Music is the hardest category for me to judge simply because the music I love comes from discovery and a lot of my favorites in 09 were released a few decades prior. Nevertheless I am sticking to the rules and putting out my best music in 09.

5. Jay-Z – The Blueprint III – Jay-Z earned number five based of Death of the Autotune alone. The rest of the tracks were pretty good too.
Best Tracks: D.O.A, Empire State of Mind, We Run This Town

4. Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… Pt. II - The Wu-Tang Chef is back and still drops harder than anyone else. Old school hip hop still reigns supreme.
Best Tracks: Sonny’s Missing, House of the Flying Daggers, Black Mozart,

3. Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus – For all their hard years of going by unnoticed they have finally hit it mainstream and have been rewarded with (hopefully) millions in commercial music deals. If you can resist dancing to Liztomania then your resolve is stronger than mine.
Best Tracks: Liztomania, 1901, Lasso, Fences

2. Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion – The first notable album of 09 and one of the best. Only number two because it lost the coin toss. Animal Collective released their most accessible album and while they won’t be getting the movie and commercials offers Phoenix is getting, Merriweather Post Pavilion will outlive the rest on this list. This belongs up there with Abbey Road and the Dark Side of the Moon.
Best Tracks: Daily Routine (especially the first half), My Girls, Summertime Clothes, Lion in a Coma

1. Grizzly Bear - Vekatimest – While Merriweather is technically the best album, Vekatimest is my favorite. This album feels like some discovered LP from seventies by a band that broke up too early in their career to be properly discovered. Thank God we have Grizzly Bear with us now and from the looks of things there will be plenty more albums to enjoy.
Best Tracks: Southern Point, Two Weeks, While You Wait for the Others, Ready, Able, I Live With You…Actually just listen to the whole fucking album.

OTHER BESTS OF 2009

Best Video Game: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
Best Fashion Designer: Ben Sherman - Spring 09
Best Trend to Hate On: Ed Hardy
Best Music Video: Uffie – Pop the Glock. Don’t judge. She’s got a loaded body, right?
Best Drink: Bloody Mary @ Rosemary’s in Las Vegas, NV
Best Meal: Rare Steak Pho @ Number Nine in Long Beach, CA
Best concert: Human Giant’s Halloween Special @ The Largo in Los Angeles, CA
Best Depressing Moment: Walking to my car in LA to see a homeless man asleep on the ground outside a mattress store.
Best Hilarious Moment: Walking to my car in LA to see a homeless man asleep on the ground outside a mattress store.
Best Skyline: Random Corner on Mulholland Drive at Night. Felt like I was flying over the city of Los Angeles.
Best Arrest: Drunk guy on Hollywood Blvd. who peed on himself and the cop who was trying to arrest him for public drunkenness.
Best Performance: Woman who almost tripped over chair and then started crying because she thought she was going to never walk again. She then proceeded to sob openly while rolling on the ground. When she realized no one was giving her sympathy she promptly stopped crying, stood up and walked away - DVD Copy Store @ LA
Hottest Girl That I Missed My Chance At Making Out With: Jessica @ Jimmy Kimmel Live Party
Best Weed: Whatever that homeless hippie guy had at the pier in Venice
Best Documentary That Made Me Cry Like a Bitch: Dear Zachary (2008)
Best Moment: Writing The Lengths with Tim

And for those that have made it this far, a treat! I have compiled my favorite songs of 09* into a cd for your perusal.

*Most of these songs were not made in 09.

Instructions:
1. Download the file here - http://www.mediafire.com/?nv2fgmdnqt4
2. Extract files into your iTunes music folder.
3. Pull them up in iTunes
4. Enjoy
5. Happy New Year.